Shark

"Please, you can't! I have a wife and children! I have a dog named Ruffles and two cats named Whiskers O'Hallohan and James! You can't!? Please!?"
His feet toyed with the edge, swaying up and down in the breeze, shuddering with every nervous muscle spasm.
"Everybody swims."

George was having a bad day. A summation would seem unnecessary in the face of his standing on the edge of a wooden plank, twelve feet above dark and deadly, churning, swirling waters, shadows flickering icily below the surface. His left hand loosely held the shattered remains of the watch. The stupid bloody watch. Every fifteen minutes it bravely struggled out a broken PO-TAH-WEEeeehh....

"Nonononono just listen to me just LISTEN to me listen to ME waitwaitwait, OK!" he paused for affect, gesticulating wildly with his free hand. "No but see you don't can't kill everyone surely? Right? Isn't there always room for the prisoner, for, for me to, join. Join? Always stories, stories you hear of people being taken prisoner and then... whassitcalled Stockholm thingy, fall in love, be the best friend, you know?"
"Everybody swims."
"Nononono hang on just hang on I can offer you gold-"
"Got enough."
"-or knowledge-"
"Not needed."
"-experience-"
"Somehow I think your experience is incompatible with our lifestyle."
"-freedom! I have contacts, I can deal with any legal problems you might run into!"
"And somehow I don't think you're that good at dealing with problems. Everybody swims."
"Nonono wait. Can't you see the problem here? Everybody swims, how do you get new crew? Every takeover must incur regrettable loses, right? So, what? Pubs?"
"Themed family bistros actually. Morgenstern's is always reliable for fresh meat. That's a metaphor. I'm talking about new recruits, not actual meat. Green, rotten, don't go there for the food."
"Yes but wait wait I'm right here! I'll work for nothing! What can I possibly offer you that you might need? Help me out! Help me help you!"
"Oooerr, I wouldn't," ventured a voice from the rear. " 'e don't like that marke'ing gobbledygoo'. Best you go with physical, literal suggestions as to your worth, ay?"
"No but I'm just lower management! We don't know how to DO anything. I'm a step above a bilge rat-"
"Oy! You ain' a step above me yet, boy."
"All I ever do is make coffee when the boss wants it-"
"WAIT. They don't send you out for it? You make it?" He looked over his shoulder at the assembled crew and raised an eyebrow, then turned back with a triumphant swirl of his jacket. "RIGHT. This is the life or death question: Steeped or pressured?"