Strangest Thing

I'm your typical hypocrite.

So I'm off to school tomorrow to begin again a new year where I hate myself for the path that necessity has paved for me. I had planned to write more in the holidays about 'Why I'm Not Teaching' and then, here I am. Never got the urge or will to sit down for a few hours and type things up.
I've been wishing that something would happen so that I wouldn't have to go; so that I had a reasonable excuse that other teachers would understand. But once you're in the system, you start to lose any sense that there's anything wrong with any of it. Yes, kids seem to be a little bit more 'out-of-control' than a few years back, but that's just kids, right? Yes, they seem to be getting a little bit 'dumber', but surely that's the fault of the primary school teachers, right? If everyone did the jobs they're supposed to be doing then we wouldn't have this mess, right? Right?
But I'm finding that there seems to be diametrically opposed ideas when it comes to teaching: either you want to and so you put up with the shit until you get into a rhythm or you just don't teach. So it's either I teach or I don't and I have to make a choice but what if I want the middle-ground?

I've been trying to get a job doing some sort of youth work. I really do like young people and I want to help them achieve their best and that sounds preposterous but it's there.

I hate that I've been thinking about the best way to control my new classes.